Thursday, May 27, 2010


Saturday, May 22, 2010

Long time coming grateful


I've needed to be quiet lately. It's easy for me to be grateful for some things

daily glimpses of protection
or guidance
or the glory of creation

moments of awe and wonder
over where I've been and
who I am now and
those I have the privilege of serving.

I do those gratefuls well. They're elementary for me. They're memorized like multiplication tables and spit out by rote. There's danger that they will lose their true significance in trying to write one hundred answers in five minutes or by singing the sixes to the tune of Jingle Bells.

Six times six is thirty-six.
Six groups of six stinky socks equals thirty-six stinky socks.
Six sixes.


It's remarkable.

And that's how I've tried to live my gratefulnesses.

But there are deeper gratefuls I've had to work toward lately. They are the hard won, higher math kind of gratefuls. They require acceptance that

'n' stands for the unknown
and 'x' is the way things are
and 'y' is my responsibility.

And perhaps they plug into this formula somehow.

I'm not there yet. I'm not grateful yet.

But I want to be there and I am working toward there. I can be grateful for that.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

the best ice water

Sometimes I start to write something but something else shoves its way in and decides to take over.

So tree pruning and Death and Dying Reports will just have to wait for another day, because there is only one thing to say right now.

I get myself a glass of ice water and sit down to write. A certain daughter snatches the glass out of my hand and drinks some of my cold water. I breathe out my Longsuffering Mother Sigh and pretend it really bothers me.

She says I make the best ice water.
She kisses my cheek and says I am the best mommy ever.
She grins her grin.
And she says goodnight.