Saturday, May 22, 2010

Long time coming grateful


I've needed to be quiet lately. It's easy for me to be grateful for some things

daily glimpses of protection
or guidance
or the glory of creation

moments of awe and wonder
over where I've been and
who I am now and
those I have the privilege of serving.

I do those gratefuls well. They're elementary for me. They're memorized like multiplication tables and spit out by rote. There's danger that they will lose their true significance in trying to write one hundred answers in five minutes or by singing the sixes to the tune of Jingle Bells.

Six times six is thirty-six.
Six groups of six stinky socks equals thirty-six stinky socks.
Six sixes.


It's remarkable.

And that's how I've tried to live my gratefulnesses.

But there are deeper gratefuls I've had to work toward lately. They are the hard won, higher math kind of gratefuls. They require acceptance that

'n' stands for the unknown
and 'x' is the way things are
and 'y' is my responsibility.

And perhaps they plug into this formula somehow.

I'm not there yet. I'm not grateful yet.

But I want to be there and I am working toward there. I can be grateful for that.

1 comment:

flutter said...

you are so amazing.