Thursday, July 10, 2008

Deadliest ratings boosters

One of my guilty pleasures is on Tuesday nights at 9. I admit it. I love to watch the Deadliest Catch. I cannot believe the crazy stuff they do to make a living. It’s fascinating. I guess that’s what keeps me watching. I am a bit worried about its chance to be a long running show though. I just don’t know how many more story lines they will be able to come up with without endangering someone’s life further.

I’ve noticed that the Disney Channel does a really good job at keeping viewers and getting new ones. They get the star of one show to appear on another show, and then that show gets double ratings. Raven appears on Zach and Cody. So does Hannah Montana. This is not new. Urkel inspired Stephanie to wear her glasses for one full episode of Full House. And who can forget all those guest stars on Scooby Doo?

Well, here’s my plan. Just work in some *bleeps* wherever you choose.

I think Supernanny should make a little visit to the Cornelia Marie and give some parenting tips to Captain Phil. You can tell that he really loves those boys, and it was clearly upsetting to them when Phil was coughing up blood (thanks for showing it!) from a punctured lung that turned out to be a blood clot. Phil, she could really help you deal with those tough parenting moments. I’m thinking maybe a little thing called The Naughty Chair might need to be implemented to prevent them from stealing your credit card again.

Stacy from What Not to Wear could raise the fashion bar a bit on those boats. Those slickers could be a bit more flattering at the waist. Darts? Pleats? She’d know, and that New York girl wouldn’t be afraid to get *bleeped* at. I do wish she would work in a little bit of sweetly phrased advice about Captain Phil never appearing on tv without a shirt again.

Ever.

Even if the old lung gets a bit punctured. I must say that I wouldn’t mind getting a wee bit closer look at Phil’s tattoos, though. While he’s wearing a tank top (that meets Stacy’s approval) or something.

Monk could be an undercover greenhorn and investigate the mysterious disappearance of Squawky. He would really LOL out loud at the antics of that zany Hillstrand Clan. He could also really sympathize with Captain Keith, who couldn’t leave Dutch without his Cup o Noodles spittoon. If things don’t work out on the Time Bandit, that would be ok because I’d also like to see Monk working bait bags at the Cookie Monster. Maybe he could fall harmlessly into the tank with the Opilio crab catch, and figure out just what happened to Squawky on that blustery day. Squawky, come back!

C. Everett Koop could come motivate the whole fleet to quit smoking. Kind of like the biggest winner for smokers. The biggest lung capacity wins? Captain Phil did get a head start though, due to the punctured lung that was really a blood clot.

Why not representation from the sports world? It is an Olympic year after all. The flying Hamm brothers, Paul and Morgan, could come and get lessons from Edgar on how to climb a crane or whatever that thing is called, do a repair and get down safely while your brother is *bleeping* at the wheel. They could teach him a thing or two about sticking a landing, but I’d like to see them do a Gienger when their high bar is covered with ice.

I’m out of ideas. Do you have any?

I have to make a confession now. I don’t care what Stacy says about my fashion sense(lessness). I really want a Time Bandit jacket! And maybe a tattoo.

2 comments:

WheresMyAngels said...

Cracking up here!!

Okay, I love Stacy's fashion advice, but at the same time, I think she needs some and a hair makeover!

Morgan said...

Funny Idea about having the super nanny visit the Cornelia Marie and talk to Captain Phil.